before everything. let me warn you of an extremely long & quite nonsensical post for today.

have you ever been afraid of the time that will come when all your infatuations for a particular person wanes because you are not sure if you will continue to wholeheartedly love him?

food for thought.


let me speak about my one lil experience..

i thought i spent 3.5 years of my pre jc life 'loving' someone unrequitedly but after a careful assessment, were there more infatuations than love?
it seems like there were crosses in between.
firstly, we know that infuations end pretty fast after all your initial anxieties, exciteness and "floating off the air" feelings fade gradually, i.e after you've discovered all his flaws and embarassing moments, spent some time together and come to know of all the undesirable traits behind the pretty face.
thus, i've chosen to believe that it must be love which ensue since no infatuations can last that long? but now wait, is my belief wrong?
for one, i am quite surprised by myself on how when we hung out together, the feelings just totally disappeared because he wasn't exactly fitting of the 'perfect image' i had of him. even more on how swift i can break away from it all by a simple message of "whatever" to that person in subject.
hence it struck me, did i hold on to that believe that i 'love' him just because i'm too used to it? am i just a superficial girl who loses all interests once she knows of all his bad and disgusting habits? but then again, i was totally turned off.
seriously, i've foolishly assessed myself by asking if i were to be in the situation of sacrificing myself ie. dying to rescue him from some sort of danger without any credits, would i do it?
i confidantly said yes, at the point of time. at the time even after i've come to discover (and am quite disgusted) by his unredeeming traits. however, i chose to ignore that fact because none of that can overpower the affections i had for him still, and the valuable friendship i hold on so treasurely.
so why did it end all of a sudden?
either one, i am a superficial bitch or two, i dont know. the feelings just went down the cliff after so long and i decided we're more suited to be best friends and bosum buddies.

ok, whatever, i am just too bored from revisions (or none at all).

to balance things abit,

yesterday, went bishan lib to study since there were too many distractions at home (new media's fault). ironically, more distractions came when D1 came and studied with me. i wouldnt say they're bad distractions tho :x anyway alrigh alright..still distractions LA. read some econs before D1 proclaimed to be hungry. i thought we're gonna fast (?). so..packed up and ate macs, SHEV, u must be proud of me, cos i declined the idea of dining at KFC and helped spread your little messages. lol -.-. sheesh, influential girl. then, there wasn't any space in the lib so took the bus to tpy lib. arm wrestled and i lose and gave me backaches :/ anyway..studied for yet another bit at the lib before D1 brought a book about the 500 greatest albums to date and we flipped through it ALL 500. gosh. lol. loads of beatles, rolling stones and other rock band stuffs. :o then! ate at the food court since the thought of fast foods made us nauseus. loads of stupid things ensued. and..other things i shouldnt digress (: NO! keep all your dirty thought away eww.

B!