“The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes.”

"It is a sort of bankruptcy - the bankruptcy of a soul that expends too much in hope and expectation."

it's right. i shouldnt have of expended too much hope and expectation thinking that i would and surely will, get it my way. how do you expect me to move on? i can't admit failure, not when i've spent all my free time practicing, and not when i am obviously a victim of injustice. i wouldnt if you had told me i was bad from the beginning but only when you are forced to make a decision was i chosen RANDOMly to be left out of the musical. not when i looked around and saw others who are obviously worst who went in like a breeze. not when even others said they were shocked by your decision to leave me out. not when you put all the J2s in despite some not doing well enough but obviously because its their last year. thanks to you there goes my motivation for looking forward to school each day. thanks to you i got to attend each rehearsal bitterly watching others do their steps while the salt intensifies my wound. thanks to you i was made by myself to think that i was such a failure for the entire day, a failure worst than not passing your exams. but failed by your own passion. and lastly, thanks for teaching me how to smile and laugh and deceive others to think im ok and happy.