something strange that has been bothering me occasionally throughout the course of my life has finally come to light. yes, im officially a victim of a mild depersonlization, or what known as Alice in wonderland disease.

have anyone ever experienced this weirdest feeling when you just dont feel like yourself but a stanger or a soul which is outside your body? you feel like a thought which is trapped inside a vessel and loses your sense of self.

"The act of thinking itself, the stream of invisible words running through the hollow chamber of your mind, seems strange and unreal. It's as if you have no self, no ego, no remnant of that inner strength which quietly and automatically enabled you to deal with the world around you, and the world inside you. It may settle over time, into a feeling of "nothingness", as if you were without emotions, dead."

or

"... a feeling of detachment or estrangement from one's self . The individual may feel like an automaton or as if he or she is living in a dream or a movie. There may be a sensation of being an outside observer of one's metal processes, one's body, or parts of one's body."

http://www.depersonalization.info/overview.html

its not a psychotic condition but a symptom of a very common phenomenon throughout 70% of the population.

"The person knows that something is terribly wrong, and grapples with trying to figure out what it is. If anything, it's the opposite of insanity. It's like being too sane. You become hypervigilant of your existence and things around you."

"Chronically depersonalized persons (or D-People as they're often called) are usually highly intelligent, and prone to intellectual ruminating."

Although it can also be caused by certain drugs, mine is almost spontaneous and unpredicted. I'm not sure though if today's was caused by my anti-inflammatary medicine which i think contained Minocycline that can induce the symptom. anyway, from my past short experiences of 1-2 minutes, i think i have probably self-induced it, or it could also have been an extension of OCD. Its fun and scary at the same time. i wonder what couldve happened if i were to throw in some anxiety panic like what most people experienced.

so now what the hell? collecting disorders is not my hobby but so far i have a mild obsessive compulsive disorder (but doesn't everyone has one? just think of the times you have to triple check your door to make sure its locked), and now, a humble dose of depersonalization. wow. wow. wow.